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Who are you?

1SELFIE

It’s been too long since we asked this question. Who are you?

The audience numbers are simple enough to find. In the last thirty days there were 1.41 million page views here during 584,828 sessions conducted by people who should probably have been doing something more worthwhile than spending an average of 3.5 minutes on this pathetic blog. Imagine: two sessions with me equals the time consumed by the average lovemaking (7.3 minutes), for example. Just sayin’.

Casual readers of the comments section might think this is a drop-in centre for pooched renters, enraged, entitled Millennials, moldy basement-dwellers, the Trump-for-Canada party, doomers, angry old Boomer white guy, xenophobes, bullion-lickers, guns-&-God cowboys and Vespa-riding, bearded and financially illiterate latte-sucking metrosexuals. Which seems about right.

But those who post an opinion amount to only 1% or so of the people who actually come here. What they say and who they are may not reflect the current crop of readers whose empty lives drive them to this site. So let’s take one day and tell each other about us.

Here’s what I’d like to know: your age, income and net worth. You can tell us if you’re married, or have a house if you want, and maybe your line of work. Post a comment about you – so we all know if you’re average, or special!

By the way, here’s what average looks like right now:

Average age of Canadians: 39.8 years. (There are now more Millennials than Boomers, and the number of people over 65 has hit an all-time high of 14.6% of the population).

Average income of a Canadian male: $49,000. (Shockingly low, isn’t it? The median family income in Canada is now $78,870.)

The average amount saved by the 60% of people with savings: $70,700.

Average income people think they’ll retire with: $46,000.

Average life expectancy: 80.4 years

Average age at which Canadians get married: 31 (men) and 28 (women). (The oldest in recorded history.)

Average length of time a marriage lasts: 14 years. (The divorce rate in Canada is 48%, so good luck.)

Average amount paid out monthly to new CPP recipients: $643.11. (Try living on that.)

Average home price: $480,743. (This is 9.9% higher than it was one year ago).

Average net worth for a Canadian household: $322,800. (This includes all real estate equity, corporate and self-directed pension plans, non-registered investments and other savings.)

Number of Canadians with $1 million or more (excluding a house): 298,000. (Roughly 1% of the population.)

So, how do you compare to the average? Does the noisy cabal of GreaterFool commenters fairly represent you? Or are they just an unfortunate pool of human flotsam? Are you normal? Let’s find out…

Who are you?

BLOG DOGS modified

When Darlene wrote the other day saying it would irritate her if I died, Raymond got to thinking. “Your most recent post ended with that reader asking about, well, who we should read if you stop writing,” he said.

“That got me thinking. Who are your readers? Maybe you should ask them who they are, what they think is going to happen to real estate in the next few years.”

This is probably a good idea. After all, we come here every day, snipe and bitch at each other, get horny or deleted, make sweeping pronouncements, create facts, or try to sound way richer or macho than we are. It’s the Internet thing. We’re all rock stars. Anonymously brave, sage and sexy.

Here’s what I know about you.

During the week about twenty thousand visits happen every day, and that trails off by two-thirds on Saturday, when I find something better to do. Over 81% of the people showing up are regulars, probably because they have shallow and unfulfilled lives, live in musty basements, are anarchists, dog owners, hope to see more underwear pictures, or are easily addicted to anything. Just under 19% are virginal.

The average time spent here is a little more than married couples take to have sex: three minutes and 29 seconds.

Not surprisingly, 89% live in Canada, 5.4% are Americans, and there are 736 people in New Zealand. Go figure. Also no surprise that the three largest urban areas for visitors are the GTA (20.8%), Vancouver (11%) and Calgary (6.2%). But that also means 60% live in places where bidding wars never happen, where hipsters don’t pay $900,000 for slanty semis, seven-figure listings are rare and houses can sit unsold for a year.

I also know that fewer than 1% of the people who come here every day leave a comment. Perhaps some of the regulars scare them off. Hell, they scare me. Maybe they just know better. Whatever. It’s a free blog, and everyone is welcome to talk, so long as you’re not abusive or simply a dink.

(Speaking of which, it’s now almost half-way through the year and my file of deleted comments for 2014 is sitting at 101 pages, single-spaced. The total for last year was 252 pages, so there is currently 19.8% less vitriol on this blog. Pride, people.)

Well, that’s about it – all I know about you, which isn’t much because I’m too cheap to pay Google Analytics for a big report on breakdowns by sex, age or other vital characteristics. (You might have noticed this site refuses all advertising, and sells nothing – by design. Hence, no budget.) Actually I care more about the financial aspects of our group, which obviously includes how you feel about real estate.

So, I agree with Raymond.

“Maybe we could all find out more about each other if you could do a survey of your readers, with a few key questions. Like: (a) rent or own, (b) family income, (c) age and (d) your outlook for real estate over the next one or two years.

“For example, will we have a 50% crash, 30% crash, 10% correction, no change, or higher prices? What do you think?”

I think it’s smart, Ray. But what about the blog dogs? Will they answer those four questions? Are we a kennel full of mangy, subterranean renters and Millennial detritus, or a vibrant pack of sleek and successful purebreds?

There’s only one way to find out.