Reality bites

Herewith, the tale of a maiden cast aside. And the lessons flowing from it.

Hi Garth. Long-time reader for 7 years. I’ve commented a bit before and have written you once or twice as well. Keep doing what you’re doing, it is my sanity on a daily basis.

Feel free to use anything I say for the blog if you think it could benefit others.

I started 2018 living with my common law spouse and our 3 month old baby girl in a duplex that we bought and took possession of July 2017. I’m an employee of a maroon institution, presently on maternity leave. I’m set to return to the bank end of September in a senior [email protected] role behind a desk.

The irony is that I’ve read your blog 7 years and have even been preaching your advice at the bank when I have youngsters (I’m 32) come in looking to buy with a nothing down payment. I am ‘Belinda the Good Witch’ version of [email protected] Which is why I don’t know if I can return to such a high pressured, soul destroying job when maternity leave is finished. So while my employment is technically secure, the guarantee of me returning to it is not.

My common law spouse decided he wanted out of the relationship in March. We had no right buying our home – classic case of it being financed by the bank of his mom and dad. We each contributed a measly $10K towards the $75,200 downpayment. My $10K came from my RSP – put it into the S&P500 index around 2012 thanks to the blog. Thank for you that advice!

His parents lent us the remaining 20% down + closing costs and we have been paying them interest only on the loan ever since. Our financing was only able to be approved with my father-in-law on the lending portion with us, though my ex and I are the only two on the lien. Despite my knowledge of most things financial I agreed that it made sense to have 65% of financing as a line of credit and 15% as a 3 year VRM.

As you can imagine, we have been paying interest only on all of these debts for the past year. As such, we basically owe what we originally borrowed. Because of my in-laws interest in the property, the break up was a one two punch… not only was the relationship over, but he then told me that our daughter and I would need to find another place to live. Oh, and the SUV that he had been leasing beyond his means that we had been using as a family car – he was getting rid of that ASAP and driving his work truck instead. So I was without a vehicle.

Ex is terrible with money in general. Invests in cryptos… self employed… I don’t know what child support amount will be yet. It will need to be determined from a disclosure of financial statements from him and his company I think. Garth — this is so long. I’m sorry. It’s pretty scattered. Also sorry about that. I’ve wanted to write you since April this year about this and only now am able to wrap my head around doing so.

Final note – in terms of living… we are going to stay with my mom for a bit I think. Will be staying here as long as my name is on the property and mortgage, though. I am thinking of applying to subsidized housing in the interim as my income tax return will qualify. From there the plan is to live frugally and possibly buy around 2020/2021 after prices and gone down and rates have gone up.

Thank you Garth! Your loyal disciple, Belinda.

Lessons for Belinda (and everyone):

Never, ever, buy real estate with another person unless you have a stable relationship, and proper legal protection. (I could say the same about having a kid – but that’s not this blog’s thing.) In this case you gambled, lost and may be destroyed as a result.

Never, ever accept a loan from in-laws, friends or anyone else without getting it lawyered. Better yet, don’t do it at all. Nothing is free. Money changes everything. You are homeless because of it.

Never (obviously) buy a property you can’t afford. You’re scraping the poverty line, on mat leave and yet agreed to 95% financing for this duplex. Renting would have been such a better option, partly because you decided to live with a moron.

Never finance a property with a line of credit, which can be called at any time, and a variable-rate mortgage when interest rates are rising. Not only are debt service costs increasing routinely, but once the lender learns of your changed circumstances, it could be all over.

Finally, you muse about buying again in two years. Have you been seduced by maroon penguins? Did you not just learn what real estate can do to your relationship and circumstances? You have no money. You’re steeped in debt. You owe big on an asset you don’t possess. Have you learned nothing from reading this pathetic blog for the past seven years? The biggest obligation in your life is that child you created. The goal is financial security, not a house – which will impoverish you. And next time choose a better dude.

Lessons for the rest of us:

If you think [email protected] has all of the answers, think of Belinda.

140 comments ↓

#1 Victoria Guy on 08.05.18 at 4:13 pm

Couple of points: 1) See if you can get this winner to buy out your equity of 10K and then sign off the who shebang to the winner and his parents, 2) Make sure that you get the Child Tax Benefit assigned to you as sole caregiver to your daughter, 3) Make sure that the winner has no access to any of your accounts, credit cards, RSP and so on, 4) Have a chat with a good family lawyer.

#2 Stan Brooks on 08.05.18 at 4:20 pm

And some more ‘good news’.


https://business.financialpost.com/personal-finance/debt/mortgage-debt-increases-at-slower-rate-amid-decreasing-home-sales-cmhc

TORONTO — The Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation says the country’s mortgage debt increased at a slower pace in the last quarter of 2017 compared to the year before.

The Crown corporation attributes the slowdown to rising interest rates and decreasing home sales.

In its quarterly mortgage and consumer trends report, CMHC also reveals that the growth rate of home equity line of credit debt more than doubled when compared to the fourth quarter of 2016, trailing credit card and auto loan debt.

booooooooooooooooom.

Canadians are so rich so that they have to take HELOCs ‘equity’ in order to survive.

There goes the ‘savings’ (supposedly subsidizing debt) myth.

——————————-

The pressure in this credit supper bubble is quickly building up. When it explodes, oh boy, when (not if) it explodes, ti will be a sight.

#3 Honey Dripper on 08.05.18 at 4:21 pm

WOW, Belinda is the perfect example of bank people NOT knowing much about your money. Just sales people, NOT very money smart. In fact in this example a total misfit when it comes to all things money.
Buy another house? Get some therapy girl!

#4 Accountant on 08.05.18 at 4:23 pm

Thanks for the lesson

#5 pathcontrolmonk on 08.05.18 at 4:26 pm

Millions of Belindas out there, and yet Canada is supposed to be one of the happiest countries in the world?

#6 kabloona on 08.05.18 at 4:27 pm

Her spouse cannot kick her outta the family abode….and the Father-in-Law has no say in the matter.

She needs to lawyer up…..

#7 Nonplused on 08.05.18 at 4:36 pm

This is a sad story that an unfortunately high number of women find themselves in. Unfortunately, because the biological clock is very real, if they want children they only have so much time to square up major life decisions, particularly who the father is going to be, and get pregnant.

Men have the same problem to some extent, because typically you can only date so much younger unless you are loaded, but they have more wiggle room and probably less concerned about whether or not they end up a father in general.

Also I think the landscape has changed, which partly contributes to the declining birthrates in developed countries. My parents certainly didn’t have it easy, by no means, but I think back then the psychology of the nation was fairly optimistic that things could only get better. Taxes were lower, people generally didn’t start adulthood with a huge student loan, jobs were being created at a rate that most people didn’t worry about their mortgage payment, houses were affordable, etc. I don’t think the kids coming out of college these days see the world through the same lens. My dad managed to keep a roof over our heads working as a carpenter and we only had one income most of the time. I think that’s harder to do today. Not saying it can’t be done, I mean do you really need a 65 inch TV, but it’s probably harder. My kids don’t have children of their own yet, but I would not be surprised if they elect not to. Heck they are going to be in their mid 20’s before they are done school!

#8 jimbo on 08.05.18 at 4:44 pm

If this is any indication of the level of knowledge or expertise of our financial people at the maroon bank or any other for that matter than most of us sheeples are in big dodo.

#9 crowdedelevatorfartz on 08.05.18 at 4:45 pm

Wow!
What a prick of a “father”.
And the “In Laws”…. ruthless pricks.
Hopefully in another 20 years when “daddy” is still living in their basement they’ll realize what a useless toad he is. But I doubt it.

Belinda is dreaming if she thinks she’ll qualify for another mortgage in 2 years….
Renting, child day care, food, transportation, on and on and on.

#10 Linda on 08.05.18 at 4:50 pm

A sad story & does illustrate that even those with financial knowledge can & do get smoked when emotion enters the equation.

I would hope that the parents of the father of the child would not wish to see their grandchild living in poverty, regardless of whatever relationship they may have with the mother. Am I correct in thinking that the circumstances of the purchase mean the father’s parents effectively own the property? Would they not be willing to sell said property so Belinda & their grandchild are no longer saddled with debt?

Belinda might not want to return to her high stress, soul sucking job but – she now has the responsibility of a child. That job may well save her financial butt & not incidentally allow her to provide the child a more than basic upbringing. Doesn’t matter whether it is ‘fair’ or not. It sounds like ‘daddy’ is out of the picture & not likely to be a reliable financial support.

Good luck Belinda. May the joy your child brings more than make up for the troubles you face.

#11 Shawn Allen on 08.05.18 at 4:57 pm

There is no “we” in Economics

Stan said:

Canadians really have no f…ng clue of the deep doo doo we are in.

*************************************
There is no “we” in this picture. Some owe. Others are owed.

Government debt is sort of collective but our individual tax bills vary greatly. No much “we” there.

I’ll go shoulder to shoulder with fellow Canadians in time of war or when the Leafs are against the American teams. But not to pay the debts of others.

#12 Been there, done that, and survived! on 08.05.18 at 4:57 pm

Belinda,

Agree with all the other blog dogs. The ex can’t make you move out, and the first to do so looses power in the matter, however, the blog dog that suggested you try to get your $10,000 down payment back from the ex and sign over all rights to the house is very wise and moving back in with mom is also very wise. by the sounds of your description of the ex, you will have to make it sound like you are conceding in that deal, and that he is getting the bigger part of the doggie bone.

Keep your job until you find an equal or better alternative. Get a family lawyer ASAP, and sign up for FMEP immediately to make sure your child’s wellbeing is put first.

I found an excellent family lawyer through my employers Employee Wellness Plan (which also provided a discount in costs), not sure if your employer has such a plan. Happy to share the name of the lawyer if you are in the Vancouver area. The lawyer was fair and had impeccable mediation skills, which is exactly what you need under such stressful circumstances. I would be pleased to share my lawyers name if you need it, if Garth permits. Blog dogs support each other.

#13 akashic record on 08.05.18 at 4:58 pm

#7 Nonplused

The irony is that Western nations recently prefer to import/outsource kids – basically from parents, who are irresponsible, crazy enough – by Canadian standards – to take on the burden and challenge.

As you described, increasingly fewer young Canadians feel that they have the adequate resources to have a child as they don’t feel they qualify as financially responsible parents.

The government, in order to serve the globalist religion of population growth, is happy to collect and redistribute their taxes to those people who are willing to take on kids, way beyond their financial capacity.

#14 Missihippi on 08.05.18 at 4:58 pm

Hopefully Melinda doesn’t live in Hamilton. The wait for social housing currently stands at 8 years.

Also, Hamilton just accepted 50 migrant families from Toronto this week putting further pressure on a broken system.

#15 Yuus bin Haad on 08.05.18 at 5:21 pm

The true meaning of this parable is review all your options with trained and experienced senior staff at an established financial institution before committing to a strategy that could unwind in the future. Oh, wait a minute … maybe there’s a subtler subtext here.

#16 The Real Mark on 08.05.18 at 5:32 pm

Deflation will save the day here. Since peak real estate in 2013, everything is deflation as I explained in my second comment yesterday.

#17 akashic record on 08.05.18 at 5:35 pm

#11 Shawn Allen on 08.05.18 at 4:57 pm
But not to pay the debts of others.

If you are Canadian tax payer, you are not exempt of that.

#18 Need your advice on 08.05.18 at 5:54 pm

Hello Garth and Blog dogs
I am looking for an advice from everyone and would really appreciate it.
I have been investing and holding off on buying my first house but time is running out and I cant wait any longer. I want to know is it better to hire a buyer agent to represent me or hire a RE lawyer and home inspector and make a deal with seller ‘s agent to lower the asking price? I am an informed buyer and have access to sold/and new listings so I know what houses are selling for.
Is there any advantage in hiring a buyers agent who will make more commission if I pay more for the house? or is it better to get sellers agent to double end the deal in my favor?
Thanks for your advice.

#19 young & foolish on 08.05.18 at 6:05 pm

“The pressure in this credit supper bubble is quickly building up. ” — Brooks

We hear a lot about growing debt, and “pooched” consumers, yet we are expected to accept corporate profits are rising and trillion dollar companies are just over the horizon. Is this sustainable?

#20 dakkie on 08.05.18 at 6:08 pm

Housing Bubbles Are Dangerous, That’s Why Canada is Finally Trying to Tamp Down on Them. And the US?

http://www.investmentwatchblog.com/housing-bubbles-are-dangerous-thats-why-canada-is-finally-trying-to-tamp-down-on-them-and-the-us/

#21 Bytor the Snow Dog on 08.05.18 at 6:13 pm

I just love all the white knighting comments. Just wondering if the child was “planned” and agreed to by more than one of the two individuals in question.

Somehow, I think not.

Too much BS is justified by supposedly right thinking people saying “but think of the children”!

#22 Rargary on 08.05.18 at 6:19 pm

Family lawyer and even on maternity leave she would have access to work benefits seeing a psychologist! She will repeat emotionally charged devastating life decisions with men! Get therapy now! Forget buying again right now, as Garth says, it makes no financial sense. You have a child to look after and pay for now. Good luck

#23 Cristian on 08.05.18 at 6:26 pm

“From there the plan is to live frugally…”

Here I was, thinking she smartened up, but then I read on:

“… and possibly buy around 2020/2021 after prices and gone down and rates have gone up.”

… and I realized she understood nothing at all.
I already knew for long time not to go to a bank to ask for financial advice because people working there are either not too smart or deeply conflicted , but wow!…

#24 dosouth on 08.05.18 at 6:41 pm

As Mr. T has repeated so many times….. Pity the fooool!

#25 The Real Mark on 08.05.18 at 6:54 pm

“#16 The Real Mark on 08.05.18 at 5:32 pm ”

Sigh, personation is not cool. Pretty sad and disgusting that someone would personate me in what should be a serious discussion about the perils of borrowing to buy over-inflated assets from relatives.

#26 Can You Dig It? on 08.05.18 at 6:59 pm

Allright! Let’s hear all the Greater Fool analysts say what Belinda coulda, woulda, shoulda done with her life.

Free advice!!!

#27 FOUR FINGERS WATSON on 08.05.18 at 7:02 pm

People in Penticton complaining about a foul odour on the beach again….Maybe the sewage treatment is on the fritz again…relax i sez, there’s a new Turd in town today…Our fearless leader left the gay pride parade in Vancouver and he is here inflicting himself on the Okanagan for a few days. Tomorrow is Kelowna’s turn to stink. Pity us.

#28 CL on 08.05.18 at 7:03 pm

“Have you learned nothing from reading this pathetic blog for the past seven years? ”

yes!! and the best part is it has all been free. No tax credit needed! haha

#29 Fish on 08.05.18 at 7:04 pm

Re25 The Real Mark on 08.04.18 at 8:21 pm
The US economy is so pickled in debt that even if higher wages do come, increases to the cost of debt service will likely consume the entirety of such. And even more.

I’m personally not convinced this is the 1970s in which people weren’t generally indebted much, so any increase they experienced in wages could and was simply spent on goods and services.

Its certainly possible that there’s a supply side shock, ie: Chinese imports become less available due to tariffs, that causes inflation. I will certainly acknowledge the possibility of such.

However, every Chinese good that doesn’t end up in the US is a Chinese good that ends up somewhere else. Places like Canada, for example. Europe. But especially places like Canada with a proven ability to repay China in exports that are actually useful to China.

So the story here may very well be of inflation in the United States, but deflation everywhere else, or at least in the historic trade surplus countries. Its inevitable that no country can indefinitely run a trade deficit, so over time the economy and currencies will move to rebalance themselves. US dollar weakening, which is the natural and “by definition” consequence of inflation, will give strength to other currencies. Even gold perhaps.

*********
Nope

#30 FOUR FINGERS WATSON on 08.05.18 at 7:17 pm

Le Grand Caca est arrivée.

https://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story-233188-3-.htm#233188

#31 paying my fare share on 08.05.18 at 7:26 pm

The best advice I will pass on to Belinda is what my uncle told me when I was in my teens, “be like Jesus and love them all” and “it’s just as easy to marry rich as poor”. I tried to follow the first one and struck out on the second, but it worked out ok. Marry someone with money Belinda, having no money sucks.

#32 islander on 08.05.18 at 7:27 pm

The sad thing is ‘Belinda’ is very much not alone in this country.
However, let’s call on the adults here. Who really is helpless in this equation?
Yes, the little one.
So ‘adult up’ mum, dad, and grandparents.
(Garth, I get this is not a blog for protection of babies – but spare me!)
What is the best case scenario for the little one.
Belinda, please try family mediation before ‘lawyering up’.
And, yes, most people are in the business of ‘selling something’, whether they work for a bank, a real estate company or a law firm.
https://familylaw.lss.bc.ca/help/who_Mediators.php
Every province will have a similar organization.
Belinda, get your name down for subsidized family housing asap if it’s available in your area.
Forget about the ‘I’m going to buy a house’ scenario’.
Hold on to your job, get your child care organized and try not to burn too many bridges with ex and inlaws.
Life is short and time, like your little one is precious.

#33 Brady Broodwalter on 08.05.18 at 7:29 pm

How high can the USA debt go? I’m 35..plan to live to 100. What will it be in 65 years? $400 Trillion!?

#34 Nonplused on 08.05.18 at 7:29 pm

#18 Need your advice

Garth has covered your question before, many times, but the short answer is you need your own agent.

The long answer is that if the seller’s agent acts as both the buyer and the seller, he’ll take both fees, so you don’t save a penny. But it also puts him in a conflict of interest so a whole new set of forms has to be signed.

Don’t be penny-wise and pound foolish. In the same way you wouldn’t drive your car 20,000 km between oil changes to “save money” (engines are expensive), or wouldn’t go to divorce court without your own lawyer, you don’t buy real estate without your own agent. He/she needs to be on your side.

But as Garth has also pointed out don’t sign one of them contracts binding you to the agent either.

It’s been a while since Garth covered these topics but he did so in depth in the past. Might be time for a revue for new readers.

#13 akashic record

Congrats on not getting deleted! But yes I agree that I think people raised in developed nations are increasingly concerned about whether they can fulfill the responsibilities of parenting. Money is a factor, but so is divorce, drug gangs pushing at schools, WWIII and a bunch of other factors I don’t think my parents worried about.

But there is another factor as well: The young folks like their leisure. Given the choice between kayaking in the summer and skiing in the winter, or raising kids, they’ll they’ll buy a kayak.

Some people consider all those kayakers selfish, especially their parents who were hoping for grandchildren, but I don’t. I didn’t know this when I was young and having kids but I’ve figured it out now: The world just doesn’t care if you have kids. It just doesn’t, anymore than it “cared” when the dinosaurs went extinct. Nothing lasts for ever and we won’t either. Hard to see how we can make it through the next couple months actually.

Anyway, having kids turns out to be an extremely personal decision you do because that’s what you want to do. To the rest of the world it means nothing. To the government it’s just one more soldier or tax slave. To your neighbors they are just a smelly noise. No one cares. You shouldn’t either, unless it’s something that is very important to you.

#35 TurnerNation on 08.05.18 at 7:46 pm

Countries are fictional. Yet another actor playing the world stage. Wait TV star T-rump’s response with his “You’re hired”.

Actor Steven Seagal appointed Russian ministry’s ‘special representative’
CNN
8 hours ago

#36 bellend on 08.05.18 at 7:50 pm

Belinda reads your blog??? And the results are???
How’s that for a gut punch ?
Cannot fix bumb

#37 Fish on 08.05.18 at 7:50 pm

I’m not sure , but if papers come in you sign, I guess, then back to the lawyer, he knows you, and the best for you,

#38 Doug Ford is the greatest on 08.05.18 at 8:15 pm

Belinda can always find another part-time job at the infamous Keele & Finch plaza or the plaza opposite of York University. Maybe there is a reason why she is in this situation.
Sincerely,
Ford more years!

#39 Canadian In LA on 08.05.18 at 8:20 pm

Interest only loans are the S**t… The good kind

Just imagine paying interest only on 100K for 20years with inflation averaging 3%. You can balloon pay the poor sucker which has purchasing power of 54K of 2018 dollars. All the while, you can expense the interest expense. I would take that deal any day of the week.

#40 crowdedelevatorfartz on 08.05.18 at 8:20 pm

@#18 Need your advice

“I have been investing and holding off on buying my first house but time is running out and I cant wait any longer…”
+++++

You are joking right?
You’re not actually thinking of buying now.

#41 Stone on 08.05.18 at 8:30 pm

Have you learned nothing from reading this pathetic blog for the past seven years?

———

Let me guess, Belinda. As [email protected], you got your IFIC instead of getting your CSC and no other course thereafter because it required doing more than the minimum. For the borrowing side of things, you just told people they were approved for loans, lines of credit, credit cards, and mortgages because “the computer” told you they could.

So strange. I would think that in your role at the maroon bank, you would have had a chance to see so many of your customers financial horror stories that you could learn from them and avoid making the same mistakes yourself.

You say the ex is a bad money manager. Maybe you should look in the mirror. After all, you’re the banker. WTF!

Big lesson to learn here. Do more than the minimum. Just reading this blog for 7 years doesn’t make you a disciple. Comprehension and putting that learning into executable action is required for that to happen.

Good luck with your future.

#42 Fish on 08.05.18 at 8:36 pm

Bells do ring, I like Bell’s, done is done, and a start to begin again

#43 Ace Goodheart on 08.05.18 at 8:48 pm

Belinda will share the fate of the majority of the unthinking masses. She will die broke and alone.

It’s unnecessary.

She is financially literate. Educated. And she has a job that can pay very well if she puts a bit of effort into it.

Her problem?

Fairy dust. The ether. The muddling of the immature, isolated, unexposed North American mind. She has a “virus of the brain”.

Something is telling her: you need a kid, an SUV, a house and a dude. Whatever it takes, get those things. Then you will be happy.

Truth is, the house and the SUV are toys for the rich. The kid she isn’t ready for yet and the dude……well I hope the sex was good cause there’s no intelligent life down here Scotty….beam me up.

When she gets done trashing her perfectly good life and taking an inoccent with her on the trip, she can hopefully learn some things. Namely:

North American middle class life is for losers. It is horrible. You will hate it. Go be a slave somewhere. it’s better than the debt fuelled rat race to the early grave that is life here for the “working class”.

You want to be the “man”. Not work for the “man”. Owning 10k of the SP 500 is a good start. Keep that up. Seriously live in a one room basement , take TTC cars are for rich people and stupid people which one are you?

A car is a very expensive way of getting places. Calculate the per km fee you are paying to drive it. Keep in mind a car will do about 400,000km if you keep up with the maintenance. The first 100,000km is the best. After that things start to get expensive. Then on it is just the law of diminishing returns. When you are done with It, the car is worth $200 for scrap. That is the same whether it is a 25k Golf or a 100k Lincoln Navigator. Or an SUV.

Bottom line, stop living beyond your means.

Tinder is great for hook ups. You don’t need to live with the Dude you just need good birth control.

Live within your means and invest the rest. Look poor, be rich.

Never ever get into debt.

Cheers

#44 Leichendiener on 08.05.18 at 8:52 pm

þetta reddast!

#45 Reality is stark on 08.05.18 at 9:25 pm

That’s the funny thing about the period just after the boom, it’s called the divorce period.
This is the fun time what I like to refer to as the slaughterhouse period.
The reality of life today is that your A list university guys are not marrying the Sheridan college models any more. They want doctors, lawyers, dentists, teachers etc. to protect themselves financially.
After the top 20% get hitched look out below. Everyone else is vulnerable.
So don’t get married and bust your ass and stay out of family court if you are not an A lister.
Life will be a piece of cake.
If you want to make a lot of money make friends with BComm graduates with 5-10 years of corporate experience. These guys get kicked hard and know money.
The twits at the bank are just shills.

#46 Leo Trollstoy on 08.05.18 at 9:26 pm

Belinda is the daughter every parent dreams of having

#47 Barb on 08.05.18 at 9:28 pm

Belinda, my heart goes out to you.
But…you have a child to raise.
Go back to your job and suck it up.
And forget about EVER buying a house. Renting is the only option.

And learn the bus routes…you won’t be able to afford a car if moron-husband bails on the child support, which many do.

I’m disappointed that you picked such a lame-ass for a spouse. Between “financials” and “judging partners”, you’ve got a long way to go.
Sorry if I offend.

Don’t lock in…to anything. Or anyone.
Your child is THE most important thing now.

#48 Danny on 08.05.18 at 9:35 pm

Belinda
Listen to Garth……very simple…..Rent…Rent….Rent.!

Also try to get into a building that is rental only….don’t trust dudes who own one unit….and could easily add to your most unfortunate new phase of your life……by asking you to leave with lies about why they want you out.
The country is full of slum landlords who care only about making more money and don’t value you and your predicament at all.

These previously slum landlords are also the new rich….who are buying condominiums everywhere…at an alarming rate….Rent or sell them as the market flies.

Hopefully the safety system in this country can help you to some degree.
These days with the neighborhood thug who is running Ontario …he will be dismantling the existing safety systems somehow. Time will tell. But with a majority he holds….no one can influence him…but those whose priority is money only….and not helping the unfortunate like you.

#49 Fish on 08.05.18 at 9:35 pm

For it to work out it needs a forthcoming

#50 Viorelli on 08.05.18 at 9:38 pm

#43. North American middle class life is for the losers. So true! Long years of education, student loan, high housing prices, mortgage payments and lack of proper financial education. Lucky this blog is allowed to function and Garth is shining some light on such prospects, it’s very hard to find in North America. My relative is an IT specialist in Dusseldorf, EU. Got free education, paid internship, stone house in Iserlohn for 300.000 euro, will pay it off in three years with his current wages. Cheap travel within Europe, great health care without waiting a year for a specialist. But you must learn German and fully integrate, otherwise no connections and thus no work, only ghettos which they have plenty as well now.

#51 Dave on 08.05.18 at 9:44 pm

You served it to her cold….I enjoyed

#52 FOUR FINGERS WATSON on 08.05.18 at 9:51 pm

Saudi Arabia suspends diplomatic and trade ties with Canada.
Well done Turdo ! How things at the gay parade ?

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-08-05/saudi-arabia-suspends-diplomatic-trade-ties-with-canada

#53 Fish on 08.05.18 at 9:51 pm

Really, let’s talk realestate
Still young enough to own,meanwhile don’t want to rent a place with pot becoming legal

#54 Wrk.dover on 08.05.18 at 9:55 pm

Pretty graphic nightmare tonight Garth!

1st world baby momma with 3rd world assets @32 years old!

What were the goals in her early to mid 20’s that got her to this stage of nowhere 12 years past 20?

She wants Wynne’s guaranteed income programme, and then some!

Golly. Sorry to be rude about her ideals, but yuck!

#55 Drill Baby Drill on 08.05.18 at 9:58 pm

Belinda get rid of the notion of getting back into real estate in 5 years. You have a child and a divorce soon to be thrust upon you. Please just focus on your kid and yourself and rent.

#56 Al on 08.05.18 at 10:06 pm

Man that was rough, our host must be fun at parties. Jk

#57 Whinepegger on 08.05.18 at 10:08 pm

I find it unbelievable that she has read Garth’s blog for seven years, works in a bank and still finds herself in this situation. Even I, who has not been reading Garth’s blog for seven years, knows Garth’s rule about partnering up to buy real estate. As a matter of fact, their predicament mirrors that of my trailer trash nephew and his now ex. Knew each other 3 months and got married. Rocky relationship before the nuptials. I offered the toast to the groom at the wedding. Ended the speech with words that reflected my motorcycling passion: “In the biking world we like to say ‘Keep the rubber on the the road. I suggest you keep yours on, too.” They had a kid 11 months later, a house in 13 months and a divorce in 17. The ex now has twins from another loser (13 months after break up, 2 months after divorce finalised). My nephew was stuck with a money pit of a house that he lost 18k on in the sale.

And you think it sounds like total trailer trash – it does – but both have federal jobs, one in finance and the other in building management. I would argue that they, as Belinda, are not at all financially literate. Much less in possession of an ounce of maturity. They are not alone. And, thus, we have an entire generation or two (moisters AND boomers) that will see lifetimes of financial hardship and grumble about the 1%. They need only look in the mirror to see who is to blame for the travesty.

Belinda, if you really read this blog, and pitifully enough the comments, stop making mistakes you should know not to make. If you have any financial acumen you will know you have to take a more realistic approach to your future. As for your present, you are clearly out of your league as to the legal aspects of your situation. Get a lawyer. I read between the lines that you’re hoping for some sort of nanny government bail out of your situation. Head on down to the nearest low cost housing development and see how that will work out for you and your daughter. Take control of your situation and do it now.

#58 Fish on 08.05.18 at 10:16 pm

Re#39 Canadian In LA on 08.05.18 at 8:20 pm
Interest only loans are the S**t… The good kind

Just imagine paying interest only on 100K for 20years with inflation averaging 3%. You can balloon pay the poor sucker which has purchasing power of 54K of 2018 dollars. All the while, you can expense the interest expense. I would take that deal any day of the week.

YES,

#59 waiting on the westcoast on 08.05.18 at 10:23 pm

Big difference between knowing what to do and living it…

#60 Police investigating Langley, BC pre-sale development on 08.05.18 at 10:28 pm

Police investigating pre-sale development; condo buyers out hundreds of thousands.

https://bc.ctvnews.ca/mobile/police-investigating-pre-sale-development-condo-buyers-out-hundreds-of-thousands-1.4040568

#61 Cici on 08.05.18 at 10:31 pm

Belinda, please listen to #12 Been there, done that.

You need to find a lawyer, get your $10,000 back, sign off on the house, temporarily move in with Mom and apply for low-cost housing.

And go back to the job until you find something better. Also, focus on your daughter and your self-esteem. No more time for apathy and day-dreaming. House is possible, but give it more than two years.

In conclusion: save your money, invest in your daughter, value yourself and choose your next partner very, very well. Kids deserve stable, reliable and grounded parents!

#62 Freebird on 08.05.18 at 10:34 pm

#31 Islander
“…What is the best case scenario for the little one.
Belinda, please try family mediation before ‘lawyering up’…Life is short and time, like your little one is precious.”
————
Agreed. I saw the lasting effect on kids and extended family when little to no effort for putting animosity aside is made (by either or both). Ive also seen the benefits to all esp kids when one/both parents work to make a split amicable/civil/fair as possible. Both done thru mediation w/ a lawyer to tie it up (more $$ in both party’s pockets). May not work for all. Not easy but healthier for kids and they’ll thank you later. Also finding a good therapist (or similar) if needed as an objective ear to vent to. There are good ones online. If making an ex’s life harder spills onto your kids (often does) at least see if there’s middle ground. For bad days pad a place on the wall to bang your head or take up golf, tai chi etc. No joke. Good luck to Belinda.

#63 Trudeau touches down on 08.05.18 at 10:37 pm

Trudeau touched down at the Penticton airport around 6 p.m this evening, and went straight to the Lakeside Resort.

This, after being in the Lower Mainland and secretly meeting on the real estate meltdown that is here with BC officials how this thing is going to shake out.

More meetings to be held in Kelowna tomorrow regarding where the meltdown is spreading, how it is going to wipe out the Interior and most of BC and what to prepare for as an insider. Of course, none of this information will be public until it is full blown and pretty obvious, which it is kind of getting close to now.

The money laundering crackdown in BC real estate is live.

#64 akashic record on 08.05.18 at 10:44 pm

#34 Nonplused on 08.05.18 at 7:29 pm

Anyway, having kids turns out to be an extremely personal decision you do because that’s what you want to do. To the rest of the world it means nothing. To the government it’s just one more soldier or tax slave. To your neighbors they are just a smelly noise. No one cares. You shouldn’t either, unless it’s something that is very important to you.

Natives of this land know their relations back to hundreds of years, by heart.

No wonder they don’t want anything to do with savages like us.

#65 Oft deleted much maligned stockpicker on 08.05.18 at 10:57 pm

Trudeaus idiotic ideology whining towards members of the international community continues to make Canada smaller.

https://vancouversun.com/pmn/news-pmn/canada-news-pmn/newsalert-saudi-arabia-expelling-canadian-ambassador/wcm/c44ae4e4-fc68-456a-9acc-bc2fabc4f8aa

Let’s see…. No UK Trade because Trump won’t give permission to mess with NAFTA….no trade with China because Trudeau was such a complete doofus they threw him out….No trade deal with EU because Trump won’t give his permission.. Mexico threw him under the bus because his wacko virtue signaling means nothing to Mexico and Trump won’t give his permission. PTT died because it interferes with Trumps concerns on dumping. Things are getting worse for Canada under Trudeau. The one time increase in exports was an anomaly as companies threw as much across before the tariffs hit. Trudeaus saying the economy is good is just BS. His calling ten countries together to end run Trump collapsed.. just another booze up by politicians on the tax payer expenses acct. George Soros is calling the shots, dumping millions into Trudeaus foundation/campaign fund ….. Canada is running an exceptionally evil society reorganization plan and uses Trudeau as his spokesman. We know Trudeau takes bribes as evidendenced by his taking $200000 from the Agak KHAN IN EXCHANGE FOR Canada giving the AK a 15 million dollar loan. There ethics commissioner said guilty but Trudeaus still fighting against being charged by the RCMP. Time for Canada to wake up.

#66 confused on 08.05.18 at 10:58 pm

Belinda,
You can’t be forced out of the house just because hubby and his family put more into the down payment. Your name is on title.
You can force a sale of the house and 50% of the net proceeds would be yours (barring any legalese on the down payment financing provided by hubby’s parent) . Consult a lawyer on all this.
He is the one ending the relationship.
Time to play hardball.

#67 Jimers on 08.05.18 at 11:08 pm

Thank got I bought Bitcoin when I did or else I would of never been able to pay my mortgage off.
PS: Belinda, the ‘matrimonial home’ is considered as a special asset in Ontario divorce law and he cant kick you out of it, but the [email protected] can.

#68 Shawn Allen on 08.05.18 at 11:08 pm

Actually, “Canada” Imports and Exports basically Nothing

“So far this year, Canada has exported C$1.4 billion ($in merchandise goods to Saudi Arabia and imported C$2 billion in imports, leaving it with a cumulative year-to-date trade deficit with the kingdom of about C$640 million, according to Statistics Canada data.”

************************************
I don’t understand this nonsense of “national accounts”. I am pretty sure it is not the Canadian government importing or exporting with Saudi Arabia. Instead some Canadian companies (think Irving oil) are bringing in oil and some unrelated other Canadian companies are selling something to Saudi Arabia. What has that got to do with “Canada” as if we were some big collective team? Again, there is no “we” in economics.

#69 Well I be Damned - Christy was right on 08.05.18 at 11:30 pm

This years best place to live in Canada.

Not a single B.C. city made the cut. I wonder why?

“The cost of living anywhere even remotely near Vancouver has become so unaffordable, this year’s best place to live in B.C. is a town of 21,000 along the Alaska highway. But Fort St. John, the best place to live in B.C. and the 15th best place to live in the country, has more going for it than you might think,” says MoneySense. “Fort St. John accomplishes the difficult balance of offering both a strong economy and affordability, ranking in the top 25% of all cities in affordability and low taxes.”

#70 Fish on 08.06.18 at 12:16 am

You please, will make it up for me, the horror, great thankyou for believing in Me

#71 Smoking Man on 08.06.18 at 1:08 am

Come on Justin. Now that your financiers , Saudi Araba just tossed you under the bus.

Tell the world about zero point energy. Plasma Fliers, and UFOs. Trump did when he formed Space Force….challenged the MSM to come clean..

#72 Ronaldo on 08.06.18 at 1:50 am

#6 kabloona on 08.05.18 at 4:27 pm
Her spouse cannot kick her outta the family abode….and the Father-in-Law has no say in the matter.
She needs to lawyer up…..
——————————————————–
And who do you suppose is going to pay for the lawyer? She has no money. Just debt.

#73 Smoking Man on 08.06.18 at 2:20 am

Some of my History:

Opening your eye on a sun rise face down on pat pong street in Bangkok in 1993 .

You dont remener shit that happend last night. You were young and who knows what you snorted or smoked. All I remember was trying to make money, stand up at the time. And this song wad cool..

Doug Gilmore and Wendal Clark were a thing back then.

My Dogs, take risks and enjoy the moment. You are all going die one day..

https://youtu.be/d73tiBBzvFM

#74 The Real Mark on 08.06.18 at 2:43 am

#25 The Real Mark on 08.05.18 at 6:54 pm
“#16 The Real Mark on 08.05.18 at 5:32 pm ”

Sigh, personation is not cool. Pretty sad and disgusting that someone would personate me in what should be a serious discussion about the perils of borrowing to buy over-inflated assets from relatives.

The unfortunate and undeniable reality we are presented with is the insights we have shared are so phenomenally accurate and true to the point of starting a small following. We are a select few who, while not knowing each other, have all bonded through being The Real Mark.

2013 was peak real estate and deflation for everyone! It is so obvious yet so few can see the truth.

As for this discussion. It’s quite obvious this woman needs real (qualified) legal advice and representation. The sooner the better. It is a terrible situation. The Real Mark would never provide any advice, comment, or otherwise without having full and in depth knowledge of the subject at hand.

#75 Steve French on 08.06.18 at 3:17 am

I’ve been reading this blog for 5 years and I just figured out what was [email protected] !!

Bit slow off the start over here…

SteveO

#76 Dolce Vita on 08.06.18 at 3:22 am

Belinda is a delusional condescending malcontent fool (Belinda the Good Witch, advising “youngsters”, buying a home in 2-3 years irrespective of her current situation, not content with a cushy bank job…let alone the selfish, irresponsible man-child she found for herself).

Doubtful she will listen to anyone. That letter/email was attention seeking and no more.

As for the “next time choose a better dude” advice (as usual Garth, you are unsinkable in your misplaced compassion):

There will be no shining knight to rescue her from her delusional condescending malcontent foolish ways; after all, mediocrity along with misery DO love company.

#77 JD, Herald of GenX on 08.06.18 at 3:29 am

You did good, boss. She needs the hard truth, and stat. Waaaay too much of this nonsense.

Seconded to Bytor the Snow Dog. She tried to make her undoubtedly inked-up loser boyfriend into husband and father material instead of getting over that phase at 22 like she should have.

She’ll be waving her kid around on FB and posting memes about how strong and badass she is to do be doing this alone. And her beautiful little girl is going to grow up without a father. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For the daughter’s sake I hope she takes the advice here. She could turn this around but life will be very spartan for a while.

#78 Dolce Vita on 08.06.18 at 3:41 am

#30 FOUR FINGERS WATSON

So true what you said. Thank you for the update.

I see he has torn himself away from being Island Surfer Dude and braved the 3 hr. ferry crossing to resume his role as PFLAG ‘wanna be (sans costume yet Pretty in Pink).

Probably hoping that some tart would jump him like the last time to assuage his wounded SJW Feminist ego.

But alas, no such thing.

To the Liberal Elite that last election repackaged, redefined T1’s less than bright but arrogant progeny for our consumption:

You have your work cut out for you next year – more so than ever I’d say and nor do I feel sorry for you one iota.

Payback is a female dog in the colloquial sense.

#79 Buy? Curious? on 08.06.18 at 4:40 am

Hey Garth! You’ve heard of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) but have you heard of FONGO (Fear of NOT Getting Out)? Keep these Middle Class Demise porn posts coming. The sound of whining about the downside of capitalism is like the birdsong of an untouched meadow second only to the bemoaning of boomers complaining about how the world has gone mad.

#80 devore on 08.06.18 at 4:41 am

#21 Bytor the Snow Dog

I don’t see a lot of white knighting. Today’s subject was clearly thinking with her loins and feels, as many women do, and chose an exceedingly poor partner as a result, as many women do, witness divorce and divorce initiation statistics. How the kid happened and what kind of wife she was is now entirely beside the point. The goal is to remedy the situation, which includes finances, because children from single mother families do not fare well in life, and single mothers have a very hard time finding another provider-partner. At least getting her finances in order will ultimately make her a more attractive option in this rough dating market down the road.

#81 Oft deleted much maligned stock.picker on 08.06.18 at 6:35 am

China capitulates and takes to whining against Trump.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-08-06/china-prepared-for-long-trade-war-with-u-s-state-media-says

Taking a page from Trudeau’s book Xie is in hiding and using a new approach of playing the victim…..whining. China admits “hardship” is in the horizon….Trudeau knows Canadians will lay back and take it. …. Recession in Canada within months.

#82 Smarty pants on 08.06.18 at 7:08 am

Another reason you shouldn’t have children out of wedlock.

#83 Bytor the Snow Dog on 08.06.18 at 7:24 am

#80 devore on 08.06.18 at 4:41 am sez:

“#21 Bytor the Snow Dog
I don’t see a lot of white knighting. Today’s subject was clearly thinking with her loins and feels, as many women do, and chose an exceedingly poor partner as a result, as many women do, witness divorce and divorce initiation statistics. How the kid happened and what kind of wife she was is now entirely beside the point. The goal is to remedy the situation, which includes finances, because children from single mother families do not fare well in life, and single mothers have a very hard time finding another provider-partner. At least getting her finances in order will ultimately make her a more attractive option in this rough dating market down the road.”

———————–

Like I said, white knighting. How do we know he was an “exceptionally poor partner”? Because she says so? Because she says he left?

We’re only getting one side of the story here. In my experience, all exes are either assholes or bitches according to the other ex-partner.

#84 Burlington Renter on 08.06.18 at 7:36 am

Belinda will not qualify for subsidized housing just because she’s on maternity leave for a year. Subsidized housing is for people who are actually poor, not those who have good jobs and had a baby out of wedlock. I agree that she needs to get her 10k back, and move on. There’s no equity in that house. It’s buried in debt. She made some bad decisions. Get a lawyer to help you with child support and spousal support until you go back to work and move on. Go back to your old job until you find something better.

#85 Been there on 08.06.18 at 8:02 am

Belinda;

Lots of tough comments above.

Been there, done that, except 2 kids and I’m male. Little spousal support (which stopped)

Don’t look back. Look forward. Watch every penny – I found bus routes and a bike with a kid trailer the way to get around.

Price everything as “take-home” dollars – what’s that latte worth, in terms of time? 40 minutes of take-home income? Make it yourself. Pizza – make it yourself. You get the picture.

Yes, your life has changed.

YOU make your life going forward. Are you going to be the victim, or are you going to go into the future with gusto, and a new sense of purpose?

People like to be around successful people. Be successful, in terms of happiness, as a mother, and as an employee. Don’t sweat the SUV (as Ace’d put it above) – and you never know what pleasant surprises your future holds.

#86 Wrk.dover on 08.06.18 at 8:16 am

With Belinda’s track record of perfect financial goal and long term planning, she would be an excellent Senate appointment!

Solves her expense problems, and ours. Win win.

Next…

#87 DAVID L TINDALL on 08.06.18 at 8:32 am

Garth I find it interesting that you deleted my comment that to an extent tariffs that that are paid mostly by the average Joe in the goods they buy replaces the tax cuts that mostly benefit the richest in us society . Are you afraid that people might learn the truth.

There was no deletion. Next time press the ‘send’ button. – Garth

#88 #3 of the Majestic 12 on 08.06.18 at 8:33 am

Belinda—from one who has been there….

You can do this girl! I was divorced with a two year old, pickled in debt with nowhere to live and no relatives nearby to help. I had a job though—and went to school at night for five years to pick up a professional designation.
I made too much then for ANY subsidies (not that there were many entitlements then) and often paid daycare on visa and penny rolls—(I once had a fellow student ask why my knuckles were always so chapped and scabbed—washing clothes by hand in your bathtub because you are too broke for a laundromat will do that to you).

I worked hard, got promoted, raised my daughter, worked harder, more promotions and eventually met husband number two (23 years ago, still married). I quit my working career at a nice six figure Director level at 48.
My husband and I bought our own business and now work when we want—three days a week on average :). Owning your own business has its challenges but we love where we live now (no more soul sucking GTA commutes—hello, beautiful Kawarthas) and have time to enjoy life while we are still young enough to do it.

My point is that only you can improve your life and provide for your precious child. Hard work and perseverence build character and success will come. Oh and prayer helps too (God is good).

Good luck and many blessings to you!

#89 mark on 08.06.18 at 8:35 am

Man i couldn’t believe it when I got to the last line and she talked of buying again soon AND called herself your loyal disciple.

Talk about crapping on the rug.

#90 1% Prepper on 08.06.18 at 8:36 am

Sorry to come off insensitive to the masses but isn’t the $10k pretty much insignificant. It’s likely not worth the effort, headache, money and time to recover this small amount from what is likely a depreciated asset. The house is likely worth less than a year ago and will be subject to closing and real estate fees.

Best to use it as a negotiating chip to get something else from the loser and the in-laws. Like child support maybe a one time amount, as the loser will have problems paying steadily over the child’s lifetime.

#91 jess on 08.06.18 at 8:41 am

n 1910, legislation was passed during the Taft administration to create a “postal savings system.” The plan, which was an attempt to counter public distrust in private banks, aimed to encourage immigrants and those skeptical of banking to invest and practice financial thriftiness.
the unbanked and private /public solution?

..”According to USPS, at its peak in 1947, the postal bank had $3.4 billion in deposits. But by 1964 deposits had dropped to $416 million. Private banks enjoyed higher consumer confidence thanks to the FDIC and post-World War II reforms, and people shifted their accounts away from the post office. Congress eventually abolished the system in 1966. ”

The only people who don’t like my Postal Banking Act are the payday lenders who profit off Americans’ desperation. So it’s time to fight back, put them out of business and bring justice to people in communities nationwide. pic.twitter.com/prWe5wsNrq

— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) July 29, 2018

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2018/08/kirsten-gillibrand-has-an-ambitious-plan-to-take-on-payday-lenders-the-post-office/

#92 Consider Surrender on 08.06.18 at 9:22 am

Given the uncertainty of Belinda’s position, the amount of stress she will be under, and the lack of support she will get, perhaps her best option is to put the child up for adoption. The child might have a better future and clearly the parents are not prepared to be parents, to shoulder the responsibilities that come with the job.

As an aside I have worked in the past, on contract, for the Maroon Bank and I have never encountered a meaner and more bitter workplace. I saw a lot of bullying and I can only imagine the sort of treatment she may be subject to when she returns. With all the pressure she will be under on the domestic front, her job could truly become toxic.

#93 dharma bum on 08.06.18 at 9:23 am

No wonder every time I need to speak to a retail bank employee they seem to be stressed out and miserable.
Those smiles seem so artificial and strained.
Sad.
Why do people ever even choose to apply for jobs at banks in the first place?
Unless you’re an MBA or have a graduate degree in finance, and can be fast tracked into the executive suite, it sounds like a really horrible “career” path to take.
Oh, and commonlaw “marriages” are bullshit.

#94 dharma bum on 08.06.18 at 9:34 am

#43 Ace Goodheart

I love this guy!

That comment was as honest and as real as it gets.

My favourite part:

“North American middle class life is for losers. It is horrible. You will hate it. Go be a slave somewhere. it’s better than the debt fuelled rat race to the early grave that is life here for the “working class”.”

Oh….so painful, but so true.

#95 MonsterBox on 08.06.18 at 9:57 am

@crowdedelevatorfartz…

Exactly what I was thinking. There’s morons and then there’s MORONS. {grin}

———————–

@#18 Need your advice…

Apparently, no one remembers when you could by a NEW 1700 sq ft split-level for 1 1/2 times your yearly salary. I do. That’s when interest rates were over 13%.

It’ll happen again. People now are taught to think that borrowing money has no cost… but in reality, the houses are way over priced, because interest rates are low.

Low interest rates = over priced houses.
It’ll get back to reality soon enough… patience Grasshopper.

Interest rates may never go back to 13%… but certainly 7% is the historic norm.

A million dollar shack will cost you:
– $200,000 down.
– $800,000 mortgage.
Monthly payment = $5654.21 for 25 years.

If interest rates go to 9% (not impossible… I paid 13% and 22% on a second)
Monthly payment = $6713.56 for 25 years.

Notice your payment went up nearly $1100 per month on a 2% hike.

It’s your call.

#96 Kevin on 08.06.18 at 9:58 am

I would be VERY interested to know whether that ‘LOAN’ from mom & dad was disclosed as such…or hey parents, kids need the gifted down payment and the only way it will fly is if you sign a bank gifted down letter, but it can really be a loan. ‘Non’ FULL DISCLOSURE :-(

#97 JSquared on 08.06.18 at 10:10 am

Women! For the love of God, listen to your head, not your heart, especially when it comes to having children. I know it’s hard not to believe that “he’s the one” when you’re being swept up in a new romance. But take a beat, just for a moment. Take a step back and look at the situation, and the man you’re choosing to breed with, with crystal clear vision. Is this the person you want to be attached to (via a child) for the rest of your life? Are you looking at him through rose colored glasses? The choice you make will be life altering if you choose incorrectly. If you’re not willing to be a single parent, and live the hard life that entails, do not have a child. It’s no secret women do most of the sacrificing when it comes to child rearing. From limiting their careers, to living in poverty, the burden falls squarely on her shoulders. IF you’re lucky, you’ll pick a half decent dude who takes fatherhood seriously and will share the duties and responsibilities. Unfortunately, far, far too many men take the easy route and bail, and leave the woman holding the (diaper) bag. Be smart women! There’s no guarantees in life, but you can set yourself up for success with just a couple of very simple, but important, life choices!

#98 BillyBob on 08.06.18 at 10:15 am

A sobering letter. Perhaps a little less piling on for the situation and a small bit of credit for being willing to have it shared publicly is in order?

What I found interesting is that the letter is exceptionally well-written and articulate, indicating above-average intelligence. Yet, some of the major life choices…yeesh!

A perfect demonstration of how being smart does not equate to being wise.

She at least has age in her favour, there’s still time to recover. I wish her the best.

#99 crowdedelevatorfartz on 08.06.18 at 10:44 am

@#60 Langley Pre-sale condo development …..rcmp investigation

Yeah, its beginning. Involuntary price drops, unfinished developments, lawsuits, etc.
I usually use the countless unexplained fires that wipe out unfinished developments as the harbinger of a true recession. A la the 1980’s
A long hot Summer and then an even “hotter” Fall.

#100 Damifino on 08.06.18 at 10:47 am

Just noticed something after looking at the S&P 500. “Sell in May and go away” would have been a rather poor strategy this year.

#101 Evangeline on 08.06.18 at 11:00 am

#91 jess on 08.06.18 at 8:41 am

A lot of people believe that Kirsten Gillibrand will be the Democratic presidential candidate in 2024.

#102 Pumpkin on 08.06.18 at 11:42 am

Wow, this is so bad.

Belinda – I know you’re hormonal and not in a great emotional state. But you’ve got to buckle down and “woman-up” – if you don’t do it, you’re mess up the rest of your life and your daughter’s life as well.

There’s a few sentences in your description that really worry me:

“I don’t know if I can return to such a high pressured, soul destroying job when maternity leave is finished.”

“I am thinking of applying to subsidized housing”

“Ex is terrible with money in general. Invests in cryptos… self employed… I don’t know what child support amount will be yet.”

“…possibly buy around 2020/2021 after prices and gone down and rates have gone up”

So you don’t want to work, you see your ex’s faults but not your own, you want government subsidizes, but you still want to have luxury products (own your own home) (without working for it).

You need to change your attitude significantly, if you want to be in a better place. You clearly made poor choices, but the past is the past. Don’t beat yourself up over them, but learn from them. Also, you were the one who made these mistakes – you have to accept responsibility for them and you have to pay the consequences. Maybe your ex was an asshole and irresponsible, but YOU chose to be with him, YOU chose to have a baby, YOU chose to sign for the mortgage. You don’t get to control how he lives his life either now or in the future (and frankly, it’s not your problem), but you can make choices for how you live YOUR life going forward. Now is your chance to build a better life for yourself. But no one is going to hand that to you on a silver platter. It’s going to be really, really hard.

Take the mat leave you’re entitled to and during that time try to clean up your life (see if you can get your money back and your name off the mortgage), go back to your job, see if your mom will help you with childcare while you do this, don’t even think about buying housing (or anything other than groceries and a bus pass for that matter) until you can pay your own rent, have 6 months of savings, have a stable job that you plan on staying in long term, and a downpayment in cash.

Look for a job you like better WHILE you are working at your current job. You cannot afford the luxury of quitting first – that’s a luxury for people who have saved for it. And every second you’re at your sh***y job, remember how hard you work for your money – don’t blow it on material stuff you don’t need (or stupid financial decisions), and save it.

#103 akashic record on 08.06.18 at 11:50 am

Saudi Arabian state media tweeted an infographic appearing to show an Air Canada airliner heading towards the Toronto skyline in a way that recalled the September 11, 2001 terror attacks.

https://www.businessinsider.com/saudi-arabia-appeared-to-threaten-canada-with-a-911-style-attack-2018-8

#104 Speaking of maroons... on 08.06.18 at 12:37 pm

#87 DAVID L TINDALL on 08.06.18 at 8:32 am
Garth I find it interesting that you deleted my comment that to an extent tariffs that that are paid mostly by the average Joe in the goods they buy replaces the tax cuts that mostly benefit the richest in us society . Are you afraid that people might learn the truth.

There was no deletion. Next time press the ‘send’ button. – Garth

Garth, don’t worry, your blog is working fine. This 40-watt bulb couldn’t figure out that he/she/ze posted in yesterday’s column.

#105 re., Belinda on 08.06.18 at 12:39 pm

keep your head up. Beating yourself and living in the past won’t get you anywhere- THAT will destroy you , NOT your previous mistakes. Learn from them and move on with strength and a vision.

be the guiding light for your beautiful daughter. You have lessons to share

god bless

#106 Linda on 08.06.18 at 12:40 pm

‘Bytor’ – you are correct, both parties are at fault in this situation. Belinda made multiple errors in judgement, beginning with thinking that she could have a successful relationship with someone who is ‘bad’ with money matters. She made choices of her own free will that she admits were bad ones financially. I have read that the #1 cause of relationship breakup is due to financial issues – money or the lack thereof & especially its management.

Regarding children – yes, it is all about the children. Children are completely helpless in our society. They have to have an adult represent them & some adult or adults control every aspect of their lives. Therefore as a society we have a duty to protect them, educate them & provide the necessities of life until they are legal adults. If you are wondering why we bother, think future workers/taxpayers. Our society depends on a reliable supply, which is why governments are competing to attract & retain the educated young – think Trudeau’s offer to take in the ‘Dreamers’ that the current POTUS is talking about turfing from the USA is just to look compassionate? More like the government looks at the current stats where there are more Canadians over the age of 65 than under the age of 14 & is rightfully concerned about how to deal with the issues that an aging society brings with it. Lower crime, yes – hard to flee the cops with a walker – but one giant expense on the balance sheet regarding pensions, social assistance, long term care, health care etc.

Now, maybe the rise of the robots will put paid to the notion that children are our future & those robots will more than make up for falling birthrates or the aging of our population in general. In the meantime I expect that a model that has worked for thousands of years of human history will continue.

#107 Shawn Allen on 08.06.18 at 12:44 pm

The Misplaced Apostrophe

As I have mentioned, there is a huge difference between Canadians’ problems and Canadian’s problems.

Individual Canadian’s debt problems are not Canadians’ collective problems. They are not my problem.

Similarly its hard to see how there is such a thing as Canadians’ trade deficit. It’s not a collective problem. When Irving oil imports oil that hardly harms Irving oil. It benefits them greatly.

#108 Penny Henny on 08.06.18 at 12:48 pm

This is what I got from Belinda’s letter.
Her and partner bought a duplex for $376,000, not a crazy amount. In my neck of the woods a duplex is a house with two units, so one of the units is probably being rented out.
With 20% down mortgage is approx 300k so mortgage payments are around $1500? Less what she is getting from renting out the other unit of the house.
Also, do NL’[email protected] make so little that they can apply for subsidized housing?

She and the doorknob owned half a house, not two units. – Garth

#109 Evangeline on 08.06.18 at 12:59 pm

#102 akashic record on 08.06.18 at 11:50 am

From your link: “15 of 19 September 11 hijackers were Saudi citizens, and Osama Bin Laden, the attack’s mastermind, was a Saudi who has family there.”

OBL had been banned from KSA for his rebellious activities, and was living disenfranchised of his Saudi citizenship in Afghanistan when he plotted the 9/11 attack.

#110 re., Ace Goodheart on 08.06.18 at 1:04 pm

‘Never ever get into debt.’

………….

good grief, what nonsense

#111 Evangeline on 08.06.18 at 1:04 pm

Jess, re Gillibrand, I meant 2020 not 2024.

I think she’d be a good choice for the Democrats.

#112 jess on 08.06.18 at 1:27 pm

100 Evangeline on 08.06.18 at 11:00 am

i thought that article was a contrast

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin called innovation a “cornerstone of a healthy U.S. economy.”

“We must keep pace with industry changes and encourage financial ingenuity to foster the nation’s vibrant financial services and technology sectors,” he said.

Here are some highlights from the 200-page-plus report:

https://www.americanbanker.com/list/5-takeaways-from-treasury-fintech-report-national-charter-breaches-and-more

#113 crowdedelevatorfartz on 08.06.18 at 1:37 pm

@#102akashic record

Perhaps Canada should recall all the expat Canadians working in Saudi.
You know all those nurses, doctors, teachers, military specialists, engineers, etc etc etc that help to keep the “kingdom” running…….
I’m sure the Saudi’s wont mind until they need something fixed.

#114 Wrk.dover on 08.06.18 at 1:39 pm

I knew a guy that did very well at college studying to do social service work, eventually went on a training work week to deal with live cases, met the public, and promptly dropped out never to take that road again.

It hurts the head to think through problems and obvious solutions harder than the people with them seem to be willing to do.

Belinda has been needlessly on my mind today.

The dawg that earlier today said think of every dollar spent as if it is an after tax dollar, should have said an after both tax and rent dollar. Those dollars are the scarce ones.

#115 FOUR FINGERS WATSON on 08.06.18 at 2:06 pm

#106 Shawn Allen on 08.06.18 at 12:44 pm
The Misplaced Apostrophe

As I have mentioned, there is a huge difference between Canadians’ problems and Canadian’s problems.

Individual Canadian’s debt problems are not Canadians’ collective problems. They are not my problem.

Similarly its hard to see how there is such a thing as Canadians’ trade deficit. It’s not a collective problem. When Irving oil imports oil that hardly harms Irving oil. It benefits them greatly.
………………………….

It certainly does benefit them greatly since there is no pipeline to deliver Alberta oil the the east coast of Canada. They have no choice but to buy oil from the Middle East.

#116 NoName on 08.06.18 at 2:30 pm

#108 Evangeline on 08.06.18 at 12:59 pm

Noone im right mind shoud not even remotely defend head cutting kingdom. Google it to see how qube wand stops in a midle of foot heavy intersection and administration of “justice” is presented to bystanders.

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2018/apr/26/saudi-arabia-criticised-over-executions-for-drug-offences

But funy how they dont punish kaboom makers.

#117 Jamie Dimon on 08.06.18 at 3:12 pm

Hey Garth, you mentioned before variables could still be the way to go as the increases will be steady but slow, is this not your thinking anymore?

#118 Paul on 08.06.18 at 3:27 pm

#95 Kevin on 08.06.18 at 9:58 am
I would be VERY interested to know whether that ‘LOAN’ from mom & dad was disclosed as such…or hey parents, kids need the gifted down payment and the only way it will fly is if you sign a bank gifted down letter, but it can really be a loan. ‘Non’ FULL DISCLOSURE :-(
————————————————————————————————
That’s cute 10k, some ‘friends” lend people most of the down payment then register a 2nd mortgage 10 days after closing. What could go wrong? Lol

#119 TurnerNation on 08.06.18 at 3:32 pm

Did the bank tell her this as fact? Or is she psychic?
Or in possession of heretofore unknown, unearned and untapped housing market acumen?

“Possibly buy around 2020/2021 after prices and gone down and rates have gone up”

Do tell where the S&P 500 will hit in 2020/2021. Do!
No need to share methodology.

#120 Penny Henny on 08.06.18 at 3:47 pm

#107 Penny Henny on 08.06.18 at 12:48 pm
This is what I got from Belinda’s letter.
Her and partner bought a duplex for $376,000, not a crazy amount. In my neck of the woods a duplex is a house with two units, so one of the units is probably being rented out.
With 20% down mortgage is approx 300k so mortgage payments are around $1500? Less what she is getting from renting out the other unit of the house.
Also, do NL’[email protected] make so little that they can apply for subsidized housing?

She and the doorknob owned half a house, not two units. – Garth
////////////////////

Got it. In Ontariowe we call them Semi’s.

#121 paul on 08.06.18 at 3:58 pm

DELETED

#122 Cabbagetown Carly on 08.06.18 at 3:58 pm

This example of a not very financially astute woman dealing with a a complete doorknob of a man is sadly growing more and more common, part of a major trend in global intelligence and gender.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5929855/Smart-women-need-marry-mothers-researchers-warn.html

“Smart women need to marry down to become mothers because there aren’t enough smart men to go around, researchers warn

•There are simply not enough brainy men to go round – so women ‘may need to widen their search’

•The author of a report that found a growing number of professional women were freezing their eggs because they couldn’t find ‘Mr Right’

•According to the World Bank, 70 countries have more women educated to university level than men ”

Yup.

All too often now all over the planet, it is women who are getting smarter, while males are getting dumber.

(This does not include the highly intelligent host of this blog, of course, but most certainly would apply to some of the less astute alt-right libertarian/conspiracy nut-jobs who post in the comments section here. You know who you are – and we women know what you are.)

You forgot to mention my abs. – Garth

#123 Ace Goodheart on 08.06.18 at 4:02 pm

Re: person who responded to my suggestion to “never ever get into debt ” as “what nonsense ”

I think about debt as having a purpose.

Ie : the money loaned to you was done so by someone else, for a reason.

Banks do not loan money to make money.

They loan to keep everyone working. If everyone is in debt then everyone needs a full time job. The bank makes money if the economy functions. For that you need working people.

Governments want you to borrow too. They want this for a similar reason that banks do, but for a different outcome.

Governments tax the crap out of middle class working people. They do this and are able to do this because these people are debt slaves with cars and possessions bought on borrowed money and 30 year mortgages on their houses. These people are sitting ducks for taxation and debt keeps them that way.

Debt = no freedom a life of slavery and above all high taxation. If you have not got a sufficient asset base and you need to debt finance then you are going to be working full time which means you are paying the highest tax rates in the world.

Most people can’t even see this. They are just borrowing and working to make the payments.

What I am saying is you don’t need to do that. You can live very well in North America on almost nothing and you can invest most of your working income. Do that for 10 years and the income off your investments will be enough to live off. And remember 60k per year off investment income is the same as 80k per year working after taxes because income earned by not working is taxed less than income from employment.

This is because the children of the wealthy run our governments and they always tax themselves less than they tax us.

So yeah, never get into debt.

#124 Penny Henny on 08.06.18 at 4:05 pm

It might be too late for Smokie but for the others
-https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/how-to-write-a-book-without-losing-your-mind/

#125 Triplenet on 08.06.18 at 4:15 pm

#120 cabbagetown Carly

Libertarian leanings…..
…..you don’t really understand do you?
Hope this doesn’t trigger you.

#126 jess on 08.06.18 at 4:18 pm

ACCOUNTABILITY
Loopholes in UK company register show crime can still flourish, study finds

Corrupt politicians, fraudsters and money launderers could be using loopholes in the United Kingdom’s company register to avoid detection, an analysis by nonprofit Global Witness has found.

The novel data-driven study reviewed more than 10 million records from the British corporate registry.

Groundbreaking 2016 laws that oblige those owning 25 percent of any U.K. company to identify themselves made the study possible.

But Global Witness – using advanced data techniques and tools – found that although most companies comply with the new transparency rules, thousands have no obvious owner or submitted paperwork that raised red flags for potential wrongdoing….

“Global Witness collaborated with London-based data analysis charity DataKind UK to build online tools to better visualize and assess the risks of anonymous or incomplete company details.

One online tool analyzed company filings alongside indicators that police, government agencies and civil society agree increase the risk of wrongdoing and may require further scrutiny.

The analysis found 208,572 companies listed post box addresses with no connection to the company’s owner, 140,409 companies with owners or others who provided addresses in tax havens, and 416 companies that changed names more than five times, possibly to obscure corporate activity….
read more @https://www.icij.org/blog/2018/08/loopholes-in-uk-company-register-show-crime-can-still-flourish-study-finds/

#127 jess on 08.06.18 at 4:30 pm

24 State Attorneys General Seek Change to Rule on Shell Companies
Decade-long effort received recent boosts from Delaware official, Treasury secretary
By Samuel Rubenfeld
Aug 2, 2018 4:43 pm ET

https://blogs.wsj.com/riskandcompliance/2018/08/02/24-state-attorneys-general-seek-change-to-rule-on-shell-companies/

#128 Lost...but not leased on 08.06.18 at 4:39 pm

***SIGHHH**…

A close family member is shacked- up….err….. in a common- law relationship with this guy. He bought the condo before they common- lawed.

She was advised that there wont be any $$$ assistance…and on the ethics front she doesnt play dirty if they split up..aka make a claim for any of his assets, especially the condo(he is also being groomed to take over the family business).

BTW they dodged a bullet….they were going to buy another condo as an investment ( because theirs…err HIS condo had doubled)..but luckily the other pre-sale had SOLD OUT.

ALSO: re pensions.
…….my understanding is separations-divorce..,PENSIONS are no longer exempt…they are split up as any other asset.

#129 crowdedelevatorfartz on 08.06.18 at 5:18 pm

@ #121 Baggagetown Carly

Well its good to know I have an excuse for my stupidity.
What’s yours?

#130 Linda on 08.06.18 at 6:11 pm

While it is not in any way ‘easy’ to be a single parent, today’s technology offers a number of options for those who want a child in their lives. There is adoption, both ‘in-house’ & remote (child remains with original family unit; you provide financial support); surrogate birth if your own baby carriage is out of order; artificial insemination – many clinics claim donors are high IQ & are free from many genetic defects & the tried & true short or long term sex partner. Marriage is not needed to have a baby – marriage is simply one of the social safety nets to up the odds of successfully raising a child to adulthood.

#131 Tyler Durden on 08.06.18 at 7:57 pm

“Lessons for the rest of us:

If you think [email protected] has all of the answers, think of Belinda.”

Belinda does not represent the typical [email protected] She’s a very poor example of one and works at the bank that is fifth in a playing field of 5 (at least in Big Five category).
You’re being unfair to the thousands of other nice ladies and men who work at all the banks in this country.

#132 JD, Herald of GenX on 08.06.18 at 8:03 pm

#84 Bytor the Snow Dog

Like I said, white knighting. How do we know he was an “exceptionally poor partner”? Because she says so? Because she says he left?

We’re only getting one side of the story here. In my experience, all exes are either assholes or bitches according to the other ex-partner.
——————————————————————
Yes. To all of it. It’s strange that the in-laws are essentially divesting themselves from this woman after helping the couple buy a place. My ex was awful but my parents NEVER pulled the plug on their own grandkids.

Either he ended things for a good reason, or he really is just a 30-something overgrown kid. In either case she’s no victim.

#133 JD, Herald of GenX on 08.06.18 at 8:13 pm

I’m also seeing a theme here about women having to ‘marry down’ because they’re smarter and men are getting dumber.

Nope, sorry.

A man with good things going on in his life doesn’t want to marry a 30-something woman who spent her prime fertile years grabbing her ankles for guys like Belinda’s ‘beau’. THAT’s marrying down. THAT’s not smart.

But tell yourselves whatever makes you feel better.

#134 Cabbagetown Carly on 08.06.18 at 9:04 pm

#132 JD

“But tell yourselves whatever makes you feel better.”

Sounds, well, exactly like something a less educated person would say, a typical internet retort. You flee from real dialectical engagement, resorting to ad hominem insults premised on no substance at all.

I speak of data and facts. Check the source I provided, and many others on the topic of modern gender imbalance in education and everyday intelligence.

I know that people like you call this “fake news”.
And that’s also a sign of dumbness, sorry.

#135 Greg on 08.07.18 at 2:29 am

[email protected] = The Nice Lady at the Bank if anyone forgot what this means…

#136 James on 08.07.18 at 9:51 am

I remember when woman found a man attractive because he had a stable job, a boring toyota, and an expensive suit.

Sometimes when we lose gender roles, hot banker chicks fall for unemployed, crypto mining hunks and shit happens. Sorry Belinda, listen to your mom, she’s old, but that’s a good thing.

#137 Watchful In Victoria on 08.07.18 at 10:55 am

Belinda,

I hope for your sake you actually do read Garth’s blog including the comments offered here by the faithful. I have commented on this esteemed blog only a handful of times in the many years I have been a fan. Today my heart broke a little as I read your story. I hope for your sake that you take what I am about to say to heart.

Belinda. The baby that you have brought into your world is counting on you to be a better person than you ever thought you could be. Even though you might now be clouded by what’s “out there”, houses, cars, a cool job that pays well and martini’s with friends after work you need to understand that none of that will bring you happiness. You will find happiness only within you and by being the absolute best parent you can be to your child. Your life will not be easy. Very few are. Find the treasure inside of you and give all of your love and effort into your child and you will never want for more. “Divorces” are usually really sh!tty processes but they don’t have to be. Mine was a sh!t show but I have seen the other side. Dad and his family will probably be worried about money but I want you to focus on what is best for your baby. Don’t even look at the REALTOR app on your phone. Real estate is not going to happen for you. Face it now. It shouldn’t have an impact on your level of happiness and the best life that you can give your child. I had some great advice from a lawyer at the start of my divorce,”Always take the high road. There won’t be much traffic and you will fell better once you reach your destination.” Also know that kids need their Dads. Kids do better with Dad’s in their lives even when the Dads are idiots. Talk to counsellors and at least try mediation. It never worked for me because of a high-conflict personality on the other side of the table but I have seen it work in most cases. Do not put a lawyers child through university instead of your own. Use them to look over documents and give advice. I have successfully represented myself for seven years now and I am glad I took the time to learn the system and save as much money as I could.

I could go on forever here Belinda but I will stop now. Good luck. It will be hard. But it will get better. Lean on the people that love you and even the ones that don’t but are willing to help you and your child. Remember that even though Dad seems like the worlds biggest jerk right now he is still one half of that child you are holding and that will one day matter to your child.

Cheers,
Will

#138 bill on 08.07.18 at 11:17 am

Belinda :
if it hasnt been pointed out by others already ,it would seem #1 Victoria Guy has some good advice.

#139 Y. Knott on 08.07.18 at 1:25 pm

Garth – in your photo today…

$2 on the dog.

#140 Who’d a thunk it? on 08.07.18 at 5:18 pm

JSquared. You are wrong. 87% of the time it is the Woman that exits the relationship. Thanks for keeping the stereotypes alive though